“Yes, Obama duped the young people of this country by not doing every single thing they want, so now they’ll all vote Republican. It’s like when I want some bread I will not settle for half a loaf, I will instead have a muffin made of broken glass.”—Stephen Colbert responding to Republican Tim Pawlenty when he said that Obama has duped young people. (via loveyourchaos)
Romance languages such as Spanish seemingly have, intrinsic to their proper structures, a necessity to qualify the sex of their nouns. To refer to a pencil, for instance, in the Spanish language would prompt the phrase un lapiz. Thus a pencil is not just “a pencil” at all. It is, quite literally, “a male pencil”. Similarly “a pen” is not just a pen, it is una pluma, namely “a female pen”.
Primitive understanding of this concept quickly leads to a myriad of thoughts, including: “That’s strange, who decides what objects are what gender?”, and “Totally awesome! Why doesn’t English have this?” While the true answers to these particular questions may forever elude us all, given some minimal thought, the appropriate sex of many random objects starts becoming increasingly obvious. For example, a purse is clearly female, while a wallet is male. Earrings are female, while a necktie is clearly male. Oranges are quite obviously female, while apples are most definitely male, right?
But what is transparent to many is often quite opaque for many more. Inevitable disputes emerge. It seems only the collective consciousness of the entire world is suitable to decide once and for all the proper genders of everyday objects. To facilitate this process the utility you see before you was painstakingly constructed. Now it is up to you to decide. It is up to you and every other man, woman, and child to use whatever thought process, whatever logic, whatever heuristic you see fit to definitively choose the genders of the objects this world has produced.
Remember, there are no right or wrong answers, there are only choices. But please, choose wisely… you wouldn’t want to let the rest of the world down.